Social Life— It is difficult for NRIs to Make a Social Life In India
You’re not going to like how this ends, let me tell you in advance. While living abroad I had like 1 million friends. After moving to India, I went down to like, 4 friends. What happened? Did the art of making friends leave me? Does no one want to be friends with 30+ people? Are we boring?
It's been a struggle to make a social circle here in India. I've been thinking of sending "fraandships?" messages on Linkedin. I've been strategising a break-in to the cool people social circle of my office. I've been doing thinking of places I can be to meet cool people and the only option that comes up is cubbon park — that where people literally run— not happening!
This is the unbelievable reality of returning NRIs. You heard it here first. Making friends (for those older than 30) is harder in India. Why?
Family
Indians have easier access to family in India. "Hangout? No, cousin and I are going shopping". Abroad, friends are your family, so there, all NRIs seek friends with a telescope, binocular, or the lure of homemade guacamole.
Friends in Office
Indians have a headstart over NRIs— they have found friends from their office over years of being here.
The move back to WFOffice in Bangalore was a welcome move to me. I’ve made a few friends in office— two older single folks, a few married folks, and there are these 2-3 youngsters in their mid-twenties who like hanging out with us because they find me non-judgemental and get sweet advice and wisdom :)
It’s nice. Some of us, who have now worked with each other over 2 years, went for dinner once— at a rooftop restaurent. It was an experience i’ve never had in the US— to be this surrounded by hindi speaking “mere jaise log”, respectful leg pulling , while at the same time, not worrying about how much $$ the bill is going to be. The conversation was about what we like and In india, you share personal stories. In the US you don’t. That makes for the experience.
I can say for sure, making friends really improved the experience of India for me. Family is great, but with friends life seems more lively— you get to know of things to do, places to go and experiencing India and fun in a way that family might not be able to provide. It’s important, but difficult to “get there”.
Life is so different for the married. How and where do they get their friends from? I don’t really know. Hmmm, Do they even need friends?
So far, my cousin has been hanging out with me— we explore places in bangalore together. I don’t crave friends much In India, but it’s nice to make friends— and office is one way to do that. I haven’t found a way to make friends outside of work. It’s much harder to meet people on weekdays and distances make it easier to meet the same person in new york than bangalore.
I've been advising my NRI clients to not move to India with an expectation of a flowering social life unless they are in their 20's or they are distributing some VC's money. Older NRIs: You WILL find it hard to make a social life In India.
